BEAUTIFUL

Don't look at me

Everyday it's so wonderful
And suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful, no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
No words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone, that's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
No Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Words can't bring you down
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do no matter what they say
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay

And everywhere we go
The sun won't always shine
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today

"I know that we'll have a ball,
if we get down and go out and just lose it all,
I feel stressed out, I wanna let it go,
let's go way out spaced out and losing all control"

A certain realisation hits and your life does a 180.
I've lugged and slugged through twenty years and I've finally gained liberty.

With love, Mary

Gotta live like we're dying

God wants you to know - your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and melt all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. God loves you with the very air you breathe, the very light that touches your skin, the very ground that supports you. Love is everywhere, melt your barriers, and you will have love in abundance.

When I read this on facebook, I immediately smiled to myself and told God "I guess that's you answering me huh" It's funny how he speaks to me in his own little mysterious way. Who'd knew that God would communicate with me through FACEBOOK. Nice going God:)

I've built so many barriers against life in general, my heart has barricades all around it. I did it to protect myself; to save myself from heartbreaks but in that process I've completely isolated it. Trying to take those barriers down is no easy task but I'm sure the big man knows what he's doing and I'm also sure he knows that I'd require some assistance. Hear that?? Honestly I can't believe it has taken me twenty years to discover this. I'm not going to say that it was futile and be all bitter about it instead I'm going to embrace those twenty years that was given to me. Yes, it was one hell of a ride and I know that life's always going to be a thrilling but at the same time terrifying rollercoaster ride. It has brought with it so many experiences, memories, lessons, heartbreaks and joys. I'm beginning to comprehend what it was all for. Of course, there'll be no overnight transformations but a gradual change; slow and steady.

It's funny how I was inspired whilst taking a shower, yeah it always happens in the strangest places at the weirdest moments. Theories sprout out from my head and somehow I'm able to make some sense out of life and begin to understand and reason. Not forgetting my dear sister I never had who's always there to guide me in whatever way she possibly can.

Everything that was, everything that is and everything that is to come is and will be as it should be. Everything will be ok because my faith will help me make it out alive and happy.

Where are you, now that I'm callin' out your name?

THIS IS IT

I questioned myself "what's the deal with you, why can't you just let go of the past?" and I think I actually figured out the root element of the problem. It's not that I can't let go of the past but it's because I'm afraid to move forward. Honestly, I'm tired of moping around tryna feel sorry for myself for the things that happened to me in the past. I'm tired of crying, of feeling inferior in some way or another. I'm gonna put myself out there, I'm gonna move forward, for once, I'm gonna overcome my fear.

So, this is me, moving forward now:D

"There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way"

I've always been waiting for happiness but I've never really made the effort to find it.
I'm gonna get off my ass now, I'll find you, HAPPY!:)

Meet me halfway

I've walked, I've ran and now I'm down on fours. I know I'll be fine on my own, I know I'll be fine on my own, you'll be fine on your own. People come and people go and you say I'm too closed up but I've got my reasons. I know nothing lasts forever and Damn it! It's true. It's fucking true. Everyone I let in goes away. Tell me then, what's worth fighting for? Because I think I'm done, I'm done fighting. It's just too damn hard. I'm always left to pick up the pieces, clean up the mess, pick up my life and move on, act like everything's just A-ok but it's not.

I can't breathe anymore, I feel like I can't breathe.